By Guest Blogger: Nikki Hodson
Welcome back to all of my friends! I’m glad you’ve chosen to spend this time with me. Well, we’ve been talking about forgiveness. We’ve looked at what it is and why we should forgive. So, you’re probably wondering just what all of this forgiveness jazz has to do with business. Right? Well, there are several ways that forgiveness can benefit each of us in our professional lives. Well, truthfully, it has a LOT to do with our professional lives!
You see. No matter where we work or how many people we work WITH, there is always SOMEONE to get along with. Relationships can often be difficult whether two or twenty people are involved. The great news is that there are ways to improve every relationship that we may have! Well, I’m sure you’d love some ideas, so I say let’s get started!!!
Today, I’d like to discuss the topic of prevention. Logic tells us that the best way to FIX a disagreement is to never have one in the first place! This may seem like a very simplistic concept, but if it’s so simple, then why is it even a problem in ANY career? Well, this is because many people, even professionals, are unskilled at managing frustration, anger, disappointment, and conflicting personalities. That’s really ok though because it’s NEVER too late to learn!
So, how does one go about avoiding workplace conflict? There are many techniques that can be utilized in this quest. Well, I don’t know about you, but the most common technique that I seem to encounter with others is that of avoidance. I have to admit to you that this is probably the most frustrating avenue for someone who is like me to encounter. You see. I’m a talker.
I want to talk things out and I don’t want to wait to do it. That can be both a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that I don’t hide things. People almost ALWAYS know where they stand with me and that allows us to clear the air quickly. I don’t hide WHAT I’m unhappy about, so they don’t have to dig for it. This allows us to get to the meat of the situation immediately allowing for plenty of time for problem solving. Sounds efficient, huh? Well, not all people are like that and those who are the opposite can be VERY frustrating to those of us who just want to get it out of the way.
Many want to walk away and come back at a later time to talk. I must tell you that I’ve never understood this practice, but have found that it seems to be much more common than my approach. Now, I know that we are taught that it’s important to be able to walk away and I do that when I need to.
Sometimes, however, I want to just gather some information first. This is where the issue comes in. Others are often too fired up to talk rationally about anything. Because of this issue, a person who is like me must learn how to back off and give the other party time to cool down and sort things out. When this is done, then the talking out of the issue may resume.
Because this is a delicate process for many, both parties MUST be sensitive to the needs of the other. For instance, if you are the one who wants to immediately talk it out, then you are going to have to find a way to respect the other party’s need to cool down while also getting as much of your need met as possible. I’ve found a way a person to meet his or her venting needs while still respecting the right to a short period of separation for the other.
This is the process that I have innately learned to use. I will, often, go to a private area and talk to myself. Now, some might say that this is one sign of someone who’s losing their mind, but I must disagree. What I, personally, have discovered is that when I do this, I get my need to vent met while respecting the other person’s space. I find that I tend to cool down and even discover alternate ways of handling the exchange once it does actually occur. Once a person has mastered this strategy, he or she can feel comfortable venting to God in prayer or themselves out loud and in private. As the process progresses, the ventor will, often, find that they are answering their own questions thus giving them the skills required to end the anticipated exchange in a win win situation. Just think. You’ve had the conversation many times all alone, so if you’ve said or done something offensive, the person it may have offended didn’t even really witness it!
You can re-evaluate your tactics and alter the plan as needed. I think that the biggest and most important thing to remember in a situation like this is that you must, first, identify how it is that you want to feel about yourself once the conversation is over. Next, you will want to identify how it is that you want the other person to feel about you once they walk away from the meeting. If you can review your plan of approach and realistically see both parties parting with those desired impressions, then you have found your answer. Only you know how you might feel about any given situation. Be as honest with yourself as possible.
Try to be as unbiased as possible when also considering how the other person might feel when all is said and done. Leave no stone unturned, make your final decision, and get down to business. If you follow this plan carefully and with a lot of honest self reflection, then you will find that you have done exactly the right thing for you when it’s all over with.
I really pray that this entry has given you some good information to mull over. Keep in mind that people are so much more important than things and relationships last much longer than possessions. When you are careful to consider how valuable the other person and your relationship to that person are, then you will have no problem in deciding how you should approach and treat that person. Be true to yourself because it’s important to remember that you will have to look yourself in the eye each day as you face the mirror and sleep with yourself each night. Decide beforehand which avenues will allow you to peacefully be able to do both.
I’d love to hear your comments and suggestions for further topics. This blog is about YOU and what YOU need or want to get out of it. Let’s open up a dialogue. Let’s converse. Then, we have a much better chance of making our world a better place for all!!!
All my love,
About Nikki Hodson:
Nikki has lived in Marion, Indiana for her entire life. She is a Christian mother of a 22 year old young man and the grandmother of a 2 year old young lady. She loves God, people, and music. She began her quest to become a qualified Life Coach in 1991 and she was in that proverbial classroom every day of her life. She eats, sleeps, and breathes God, music, and Life Coaching. She has a home in Marion, Indiana with her two Pomeranian roommates, Bella and Lola. They are both 4 years old. She is very close to her family and strives every day to step out of the box!!!
Go to www.nikkijordanlifecoaching.com to see how she can help you meet your goals! See you there!